Sometimes we hurt someone and never have the opportunity to say sorry. Has this ever happened to you? I am ashamed to admit that over the course of my life, the number of people I have upset or wounded by my unkind words has been too many to remember but there is always one incident that stands out… especially since it happened so close to Christmas time.
When I was much younger, My Mom asked me to buy a box of frozen raspberries which she was going to use to make a Christmas pudding. It was a few days before Christmas and I headed to one of the groceries situated beside a large shopping mall in the Philippines. You can imagine, a few days before Chrstimas, everyone trying to finish their last minute shopping – it was almost impossible to find a parking space! After almost twenty minutes in the parking lot, I finally spotted a free spot which I drove towards. At the same time, another car pulled up from the other side to try and park in that one slot.
There was no way I was going to let that slot go! I guess the driver in the other car had pretty much the same idea and was also determined to take that slot.
BEEEEEP! I honked my horn. BEEEEP BEEEEP!! He replied.
I was pissed and we both got out of our cars.
I knew immediately when I saw him that he was someone’s chauffeur. His shirt was a faded blue as if it had been washed too many times and there was a little hole that had been stitched up on his sleeve. He was much older than I was, or so he seemed, maybe 50 or so. His hair was grey and his face dark brown and wrinkled.
We argued for a few minutes and the conversation between us went something like this:
Me: What do you think you’re doing? I got here first!
Him: Of course not! I saw the parking slot first – and I am going to park here!
Finally, I was tired and cranky and decided to put this to rest. I told him something that I will forever regret.
“Get out of my way, you’re just a driver. I’m going to park in this slot whether you like it or not”
He looked at me shocked. As if I had slapped him. His face, although a deep brown, turned bright red. I could see he wanted to say something, to defend himself, to maybe hurt me as much as I had hurt him… but he didn’t. He shook his head and got into his car and drove away.
I had won! But I never felt more like a failure. I tried to justify my actions by saying he had tried to steal my parking slot. But whichever way I looked at it – I was wrong. How could I have said something so heartless… I don’t know.
How could I have hurt someone like that over a box of raspberries… I will never know.
Sometimes during the Christmas season I remember him and think of him as my “Ghost of Christmas Past”. The ghost that is there to remind me that words can hurt. There is no way that I can tell him how truly sorry I was and no way to make amends. As much as I try to forget, my actions will haunt me forever.
Who is your Ghost of Christmas Past?
Recipe – adapted from Quay Restaurant
- 250 ml milk
- 50 grams caster sugar
- 1 vanilla bean, split and seeds scraped
- 1 1/2 sheets titanium gelatine (7.5 grams) soaked in cold water for 5 minutes
- 250 ml cream
- 70 ml egg whites ( about 2 eggs from 55 gram eggs)
- 125 grams caster sugar
- Heat the milk, 50 grams sugar and vanilla bean until just simmering.
- Squeeze water from the gelatine and whisk into the milk until dissolved. Cool slightly (15 to 20 minutes), strain into a bowl.
- Meanwhile, whisk the cream in a bowl until soft peaks form.
- In a separate bowl, whisk the eggwhites, gradually adding sugar until stiff peaks form.
- Fold the cream and meringue gently through the cooled milk mixture.
- Place in a bowl and refrigerate until set (around 6 hours)
Raspberry Gelee
- 420 grams raspberry puree
- 35 grams caster sugar
- 1 1/2 sheets or 7.5 grams of gelatine leaves (titanium strength)
- Soak the gelatine leaves in cold water.
- Heat the raspberry puree and sugar until the sugar dissolves and the puree comes to a boil.
- Remove the raspberry puree mixture from the heat.
- Remove the excess moisture from the gelatine and heat the gelatine in the microwave until it melts, around 15 to 20 seconds
- Temper the gelatine by adding a little bit of the raspberry puree to the gelatine and stir gently to combine
- Then add the raspberry and gelatine mixture to the rest of the raspberry puree.
To Assemble
Pipe some vanilla mousse on to a cup, add some raspberry gelee, top with more vanilla mousse and finish with fresh raspberries.
Mezcla Abrigo largo de plumas y traje partido, no sólo alargan la visión, con el oscuro también es más delgada. Si el miedo a cuerpo llevaba parecía demasiado oscuro, puede usar medias con zapatos retro impresos, mostrando si implícita, si obvia femenino.
[…] at some point in time don’t we all make mistakes? Further, as I’ve learned from past experiences – how awful to go through life thinking you’ve hurt someone and not being able to […]
[…] Recipe – adapted from Quay Restaurant (original post here) […]
So do you let the cream set first and assemble it later or do you assemble the dessert right away? i’m a bit confused.
Oh Trissa, I can definitely relate. The hardest part is forgiving yourself. By sharing this story you have helped me and others reflect, ask for forgiveness, and start the healing process by forgiving yourself.
Please tell Tina I have forgiven her for falling asleep on the phone . . . no need for her to start another blog regarding that…lol 😉
Trissa, what a great story, albeit it’s something you regret doing. We all have those, and if I could count the number of times I’ve said something to someone that I still regret, but will never find them to apologize..i would be counting for a while. No worries, we all have our bad days..none of us are perfect.
That said, being a vanilla gal..I’m in lust with this mousse. I’m also a raspberry gal *fav fruit flavor), so this is right up my culinary alley. They look gorgeous and undoubtedly taste delicious! Nicely done!
Huggss Trissa. I know how that feels much too well sadly. Sigh… For prom a poor kid asked me to go with him in the middle of band class presenting me with a bunch of beautiful flowers. I feel so bad, but I said, “No, but can I keep the flowers?”. He said yes of course, but I feel like a jerk, and did right after I said that.
So we all have these ghosts I suppose.
Laura
Those look delicious, beautiful pictures!
[…] The last dish was the Vanilla Mousse with Raspberries. The recipe can be found here. […]
I always love the stories you tell in your posts, whether they be happy stories or sadder ones. I have lots of ghosts in my past as well and sometimes it takes me a while to realise the wrong that I’ve caused. I guess the best we can do is try to right the situation if we can.
The mousse looks delicious and I love the macro shot of the raspberries! It was lovely to meet you at the foodbloggers picnic 🙂
What a very moving story! It’s so upstanding of you to come and share such a story with us. Not a lot of people are honest like that. Such beautiful flavours and pictures!
Everyone has a ghost in their past. No one is perfect. Everyone does something during the course of their life that they are just not proud of. Your mousse looks amazing. I love the colour… I’m still asking that question Trissa. Where is mine???
Beautiful mousse! White chocolate and raspberries seem to go together so well.
I am sorry you still feel guilty about your parking episode; we all do things or say things we regret. I can think of one right away- probably the one that bothers me the most. Too late to do anything about because, like you, it was a stranger. Nothing to do now and as my father-in-law always said, “That’s history!”
Firstly, lovely dessert. Looks so refreshing for our hot summer days that we’re experiencing right now. And to your story…….try and let your ‘ghost’ go. As a few people above said, he probably doesn’t remember himself. At least you realised what happened and you obviously don’t ever want that to happen again. I have many many many ghosts that relate to sad/low/upsetting times in my past. But they are behind me, where they belong!
I think the fact you vividly remember this event and that you are still filled with remorse says a lot about your character. Everyone makes mistakes and says things in the heat of the moment – your ability to self-reflect and disclose this incident with honesty is admirable 🙂
I am sure he doesn’t remember the event so I hope you don’t continue to beat yourself up about it! Your regret is genuine and heartfelt, and you may have lost your cool on one occasion, but I am sure you have touched many more in positive and uplifting ways 🙂 The vanilla mousse looks luscious – a perfect dessert for Christmas too.
ah i have some ghosts in my past lurking around too sometimes i say thinks before i think argh! but the mousse looks so delish and oh man now i need to go buy some raspberries!
Oh dear Trissa, driving and car parks can sure bring out the dark side in us. Hopefully you can lay that ghost to rest someday 🙂
This mousse looks so beautiful. I’m a sucker for raspberries anything, definitely a bookmarked recipe for sure .
The red and white are striking together. This is a beautiful dessert.
Hahaha funny story LOL
Oh man, christmas shopping is one of tiring (yet exciting) things to do. When I was living back in Boston, I was shocked that total stranger elbowed others over a stupid toy at Toy store… (But ‘I’ had to do it anyway ;p )
Ohh the mousse looks fantastic! It also reminded me of a dessert at the universal too. Yum.
Briefly but it was great meeting you in person at the xmas party! i’ve seen your name on other blogs, nice to know the face of famous Trissa!
I have been looking forward to your post ever since you had the cooking class with Peter Gilmore 🙂 Can’t believe how easy this mousse and it looks absolutely awesome. Perfect make ahead dessert for dinner party. Loving your new macro lens 🙂
Trissa, your posts are so honest and heartfelt, thank you for sharing your stories like this with us. I am sure that we all have these shameful events that haunt us and all we can do is use them as catalysts for positive change in our lives. Positive change and vanilla mousse dessert 🙂
no raspberries here….*sigh*
Yep, I think we all have those stories of words said that we shouldn’t have and keep regretting forever… One of the goods things of being shy when I was younger is that I wasn’t one to speak up loudly at least not until I got much older so that has prevented blurting out much of the stuff that was in my head but I’ve done and said some embarrassing things too!
Gorgeous raspberries!!
What a great looking mousse but… such a sad story :(… but such a tasty dessert… 😦
sigh.. i guess we all have said things to people that we later wish we hadn’t either in anger or in the flippancy of youth.. hopefully, repenting it and not repeating is penance enough :))
btw love your photos.. the new lens??
Ooh, Trissa, you have a temper! Hope you are over it!
Did you learn this recipe from Peter Gilmore? It looks absolutely wonderful, the way you’ve layered the mousse and raspberries.
These raspberry mousse verrines looks awesomely delicious. It will make a great closing for a dinner party.
That looks beautiful! Wouldn’t mind that for breakfast right now.. maybe with a bit of oats sprinkled over the top so that it looks less like dessert (as opposed to your cereal dessert..hehe).
Oh no. I don’t have any ghosts of Christmas past, but that sounds like a bad one Trissa. I hate it when you say something in the heat of the moment, but it ends up meaning much more than just a way to get your way.
That mousse looks decadent and so divine! I’m so hungry now =D.
The mousse looks beautiful! Christmas, frustation and parking all combined can be quite horrific. No excuse though, but at least you could see your fault at the end of the day. There’s been so many times where I’ve regretted what I’ve said to someone 😦
That’s such a touching and timely story, so perfect as Christmas draws near. I’m sure we have all been careless with our words many times. Yes, sometimes words can really hurt and the worst is when it happens to our own loved ones. May this Christmas be a reminder to ourselves, in particular, to treat others well and esteem them better. That’s such a lovely dessert that I would really love. Thanks for sharing. Red speaks of LOVE….to love others.
Oh those fresh raspberries look so good, I must remember to get some while they’re around. I always end up wanting them in Winter when I can’t have them! Just think, I’m sure the guy would feel better if he knew that you’ve never forgotten it and how much you regretted it 🙂
Aw, your story brought tears to my eyes. And we all have those experiences, whether as the perpetrator or target. The good thing is that we’re always learning and loving in the process. It’s also a little telling about our cultures that we ramp up stress during what are supposed to be the most joyful and celebratory occasions. Let’s take it easy on ourselves! Bless you, Trissa.
OMG the bf and I had an argument like that @ chatswood westfield last week. We had our signal first and some car comes along and tries to take it. We got the car park spot after we said some bad words =( not a nice feeling.
If this is what your making for christmas.. I’m soo coming over! this looks pro. I would pay for this in a restaurant! is this taken with that cool new lens you have?
Such a poignant story to remind us at Christmas, as the year draws to a close, that it is important to be thankful of what we have, give to those less fortunate than ourselves and to be tolerant to others.
I try not to think of past regrets because they cannot be undone, and because it also reminds me of those who have hurt me. Best to move on and face life with a happy face instead!
Awwww I can just somewhat imagine that scene… I can’t say I have a ghost of the Christmas past but I do have lots of past ghosts… hehehe. Anyway this mousse looks sooooo good and festive!